Ask Bridal Savvy: How do I deal with my “way too involved in my wedding” mother?

Yes girls, it has happened before and it will keep happening as long as there are mothers in the world. We’ve all had the overprotective mothers, that want to control every single aspect of our lives, even after we’re adults. What we wear, what we say, what we choose, who we date and even who we marry; they want a say in everything. But what happens when they also want to run the one day that you want to have completely and utterly in your hands: your wedding day? Let’s face it, our mothers, especially if you are an only child, have probably been planning our wedding day since the moment they found out you were a girl in the sonogram! And sometimes, mothers that get to pay for the wedding become the horrible and terrifying “momzillas”, because they believe is their right to control everything, since they are the ones paying for it all. But according to Bridal Coach, Milchelle Paradise, there a ways to make the impact and control of our mothers be less on our wedding, minimizing the drama this could bring. These are five easy steps she explained on an article on the Wedding and Wedding Flowers website.

1.)  Clarify the money situation

Like I explained before, sometimes the family of the bride gets to pay for the wedding, and overprotective and over involved mothers take that chance to have a say in everything: the menu, the color of the wedding, the decoration, even the bride’s dress. It is very important that you clarify with your family the origin of the money; if it’s a loan or if it’s a gift and the limits to what they have a say and what not.

2.) Be willing to compromise

It is very important that if your family is paying for the wedding, you should at least listen to what they have to say and hear out their opinion. Is it not about giving the idea that you have of your perfect wedding away, but letting your family know, especially your mother, that you care about what they have to say.

3.) Give a designated role

By giving your mother a designated role or specific tasks, she will feel like she is helping, which is what she ultimately wants to do, without intruding too much in your personal space or nerves control.

4.) Prevent confrontation

Whenever there is a discussion building up because you and your mother don’t meet halfway, or because you think something looks good and she doesn’t, just tell her that you will get back to her later on the subject. That way both sides will cool down and the confrontation won’t take place, ruining both of your days.

5.) Listen to what she has to say

Sometimes, all a mothers wants is to feel that they are being heard. Talk to your mother and see what her ideas are all about. You never know if she might come up with something amazing, that you never thought of.

Let’s face it  girls; our moms, no matter how overprotective they are, will always be around for us whenever we need them. And following these five simple steps, your mom will feel needed on your wedding day without making you go bald because of a nervous breakdown!

Until next time,

Bridal Savvy